Can't hide it anymore...!

First of all, i would like to apologize to all my TTC friends here for hiding something big all this while. I've been waiting for a right time to reveal it and i guess finally the time has come.

Pic source: Google

As some of you who already can guessed it, yes, we are having twins. It was my childhood dream to have twin kids and Alhamdullillah after all the struggles, Allah made it possible for us.

Here's the chronology of it

While im in my 2ww after the IUI, i kept on talking to the babies (since i had 4 good follicles) and really hoping for twins although i dont even know whether my IUI will be a success or not. I even created a ticker before i test the UPT.

I had my first ultrasound during 6 weeks when i had a terrible morning sickness. Doctor scanned and said that there is 2 sac and one with heartbeat and another without heartbeat.

The only thing that i can think of after the ultrasound was, i always wanted twins, its OK, at least i can see the both sacs together in the ultrasound and at least 1 has heartbeat and i was praying for the one that has heartbeat. 

When i was in 8 weeks into pregnancy (6th September), i had some spotting/bleeding. So went to HKL and after a long procedure and scan, the doctor said they can see 2 sacs too and 1 still doesnt have heartbeat. So the bleeding is because the one that doesnt have heartbeat is about to vanish (vanishing twins) and i should expect the bleeding to continue for few days. - Again i console myself and praying for the one that survived! 

On the very next day, we had our appointment at LPPKN. Mr hubs asked me whether there is chance for both babies doing ok and i just replied i dont think so since the HKL doc said the one is on the way to vanish. 

We told Dr G everything that happened and he just listened. Mr hubs was waiting outside when the ultrasound took place. To my surprise, Doc G confirms that there is 2 babies and both babies has heartbeat and both are active. I've started to cry and both my knees were shaking. Nurse asked mr hubs to come and when the doc showed him both babies and he smiles to his ears. His face is still in my mind, he was just so happy. Its really a miracle moment for both of us.

So, we knew we are having twins during our 2nd month. We decided to hide it from everyone including family members. Till now, only my parents, sister and some close friends knew that we are expecting twins. 

Actually we've wanted to wait till the babies are born to reveal this secret to TTC friends, but since the complications for twin babies is high, we need your prayers. I've reached the 7th month and its consider that the babies can be out anytime. The risk is higher.

We hope, everyone that reads this entry will pray for the safety of the both babies and the mother (me). Again, i am sorry for hiding it too long.

Miracles Do Happen! 

Allah Answers your prayers in 3 ways.

He says yes and gives it to you.
He says no and gives you better.
He says wait and gives you the best.

December 2010

My calendar for this month… I was supposed to do the pregnancy test yesterday if my period doesn't come… but I'm on cycle day 14 yesterday and still spotting till today. I was only free for 11 days for this month so far.

I'm using calendar from Taking Charge Of Your Fertility website… although I'm not temping but its easier to use the calendar….

Bloated

Remember me saying having stomach pain after the Pregnyl injection? It still continues until today… 7 days after. 2 days back, i called up the clinic and asked why im still having the pain even the ovulation its over and the nurse said, it shouldn't be the result of Pregnyl. It must be something else. But I'm not satisfied with the answer. Inform DH and we went to other clinic and the result was it must be the Pregnyl and the doctor don't want to give any medicine and to disturb the hormone.

So yesterday morning we went back to LPPKN, without an appointment beforehand. My stomach already grown big like 4 months pregnant by this time. DH much worried too. Need to wait till 1pm to meet the doctor even we already at the clinic by 9am. The doctor explained that yes, its the side effect from the medicine and its because having too much of mature follicle. My body never had matured follicle before. So doctor just asked me to take panadol and gave an day off.

Today the pain was ok but the stomach is still big and bloated. Hope it will be back to normal again.

When we are coming back from the clinic, DH was asking where we will be doing the aqiqah for the baby? at our house or at you mom’s place? I was like??? We don't even know we are successful this time or not how can u think about aqiqah? He was quite for a while then he start saying that he will be naming the kids later. Hmm, its clearly shows that DH is eagerly waiting to be a dad too even he hardly express his feelings. Sorry DH, cant give you child the past years and as for now :(

Dear my unborn child,

Im doing all this and facing all the pain because of you. I really hope one day you will be in my hand and playing with me and give me a wonderful smile.

Its stopped

Yesterday went for the scan early morning. The mensus was still heavy and im not that comfortable to scan when im having period. But i have to choice. This time, doctor can see lots of good eggs (follicles) and the size of each was taken down. Doctor also mention that i was having abdominal pain coz of having lots of eggs this time. At least the Puregon is now working with me.
Still im still having period, doctor asked to come again for ultrasound today and provide me with another Puregon to inject that night.

I took the day off yesterday since im not comfortable with my period yet and also with the pain. I seriously did a right choice, the flow was still heavy and there are few blood clots discharged too. For a moment i thought is it miscarriage? Started to google about miscarriage and the symptoms was similar. But the thing is im not pregnant in the first place. So i kept aside that thought.

Today, the mensus fully stop for my surprise. It never happen like this before it just stop fully when the previous day it was heavy. But its my 11th day, so its ok lah it stops. The doctor was surprised too how yesterday was so heavy and today nothing at all. Todays scan shows matured eggs and again its quite many. The biggest size was 21mm, thus so far i never been beyond 16mm.

So doctor stopped giving me puregon and prescribe with other medicine called Pregnyl to be inject tomorrow morning and to have the timely intercourse according to the date given. This drug is to makes the eggs burst. I also given Duphaston tablet again to start from coming Sunday till 16 days twice daily. Im not sure this will work out for me or not but im just hoping for the best and if anyone reading this... please doa for me ok.

3rd Cycle Treatment : LPPKN

Currently I'm on my 3rd cycle with LPPKN. This time, the doctor changed the medicine from Menonys to Puregon which is much more higher dosage. So need to inject twice using the Puregon Pen and 1 time using the syringe.

Husband was busy that day and i tried to inject my self using the syringe… but the needles doesn't enter my tummy at all. So i still have to wait for him to inject me the Puregon.

My next appointment is on coming Thursday to do the scanning. LPPKN wont be doing any IUI for december since they are renovating the lab. I still want to take the treatment to see the growth rate of the eggs and if it looks good, wants to try on natural ways.

I'm not hoping much to avoid disappointments …

2nd Cycle Treatment : LPPKN

The first cycle doesn't worked out and can proceed with IUI. Next appointment was given on 27 Oct. I was again given clomid and Menonys 150 (increase dosage) and same as before need to take the clomid for 5 days continuously and Menonys for alternate days.

Went for the scan on 4th November and again the egg still meet the minimum requirement that was needed for the IUI procedure. Was given another 2 round of Menonys again. Went for scan on 8th November and again the growth rate was still minimal. So have to stop again for this cycle.

Again the effort, money and the pain was useless.

1st Cycle Treatment : LPPKN

I called LPPKN to get an appointment on my first day of period and i received the appointment on 14th July. Doctor was to prepare us for IUI treatment. So i was given clomid (2 tablets daily), Menonys (75mg) – to inject alternate days for 3 days.

Husband is the one who injects me, its kinda painful, but i have to bear it. Once done, the next appointment was on 20th July. Doctor scanned and it looks like my eggs doesnt big enough. So i was given another Menonys to inject and come again 2 days (22th July) later to scan again.

The appointment day came and the doctor scan and the results was still the same. So i was given another 2 round of Menonys although it will make my cycle a little bit longer. Scan was done again on my 3rd attempt on 26 July and the eggs doesnt seems to grow much. So have to stop the treatment for this cycle.

All the pains, the regular visits to the clinic and away from work was an wasted effort for this time round. We have to wait another 2 months before continue with the treatment due to fasting month and Eid.

Fertility Treatment 2 : LPPKN

Day 1

After much of Google search regarding fertility treatment that available in Malaysia, I've been introduce to Lembaga Penduduk dan Pembangunan Keluarga Negara (LPPKN) by one of the blogger Little Mama Diary. So me and husband decide to continue the treatment with LPPKN instead of the previous place.

Received the first appointment on 8th of April 2010. So we went and register ourselves. The next thing was, husband was asked to to Sperm Analysis (SA) for him again. They don't want to count in any treatment records from the previous place and want us to start fresh. We agreed.

Apart from the SA, the blood from both of us was taken too.

That's it for the first day and it cost  us RM 146 ( Registering – RM 40, SA – RM50, Blood test – RM56).

Day 2

I was also asked to do  Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test at Tawakal Hospital on 16th April 2010. HSG is an X-ray of the uterus and fallopian tubes which allows visualization of the inside of the uterus and tubes. This test is very important since it will allow us to know where the tubes are normal from any scars or blockage and we also will able to know the condition of our uterus.

The result was given on that day itself. Everything is normal for me and this costs me RM180.

Day 3

I was asked to come again on 26 April to test another round of blood test and they provide us with the blood test result which was taken on the first day of our appointment. This blood test cost us RM14.

 

I was asked to call on first day of period on the following month to get an appointment. So we got the appointment on 10th of May 2010. This is where the first time we meet the doctor and the doctor explains all the results for all the test taken. Since the appointment was on my 5th day of period, it is impossible to start with any medication. So we need to wait till the next period. This consultation with the doctor costs us RM10.

 

You can check on Little Mama Diary regarding the full process that she’s been through. A very good one!

1st Treatment at 1st Clinic

8th of February 2010 - Me and husband went to one of the famous Gynea clinic at PJ. Nothing much on the first visit except the doctor asking what's the problem is. Then the doctor calculated the period cycle and gave ‘clomid’ and asked us to come again after my period is over. Husband was asked to do his semen analysis.

18 February – Doctor scan and seems the egg doesn't seems good. So some medicine was jab.. I'm not sure the name of the medicine. Husband’s semen analysis was good… so no problem with him.

22 February – The same scan and jab was repeated and nothing seems improving. So need to wait for my next period cycle for further checkups.

16 March – The scan was done and the egg doesn't grow much as expected and the doctor conclude that i am having poor quality of eggs. I just started to cry at that moment. I dont know what to say and how to react… then the doctor said.. everything will be ok if i follow some treatments regularly.

But we stop going to this clinic since then. Reason being, the cost was very expensive… its over RM1000 for this 4 visits and we wants to try on some second opinion.

I never thought i will have problem in conceiving... i never even imagine about it ... Maybe God has better plans for me...

Retrospect

As every married couple, we started our married life happily. We never plan to have a ‘planning for baby’ thing since we want it happen when God thinks the right time. Time past by… but there is no symptom of pregnancy until we reach our 3rd wedding anniversary.

So we decided to do the fertility check ups and that's how all the regular visits to clinic starts. The details of the visits will be updated in the next entry.