Settled!

Since very limited time, finally this is what we bought for the doctor.

A pen and a thank you card

Card with their newborn pic on it.

We also bought KFC for the doctor and the nurses.

Dr G seems to be so surprise to see this little twins are running here and there actively non stop. After a while, he has no choice and started to "chase" them too worried they will hurt themselves.

Before leaving, Dr G manage to mention, 'do inform and call when you are ready for next'. I'm pretty sure he thinks that, we wont be thinking about next for another 2 years at least ;)

Appointment fixed!

Alhamdulillah... we're gonna bring the twins to meet Dr G next week insyaAllah. The nurse just called and inform that Dr is quite free end of next week.

So its time to seriously think about gift for him as a token of appreciation. Rasanya Dr G tak kesah pun if tak da hadiah. But its me who wants it.

Any idea plz apart tie or pen?? Cant think of any :(

Taking Charge Of Your Fertility

Looks like i am looking and calculating the ovulation calendar almost everyday for the past 3 months with BIG HOPES like before. My favorite always will be Taking Charge Of Your Fertility.

On different note, we are still pending to bring the twins to meet the Dr G. I'm thinking to bring them sooner so before the doctor forget about us. Yet to buy gift for Dr G. Aaih... banyaknya benda tak settle lagi.

Once deliver, we need to go through the full process at LPPKN again. So, we might do the checking and testing again so that we know hows my body reacting after post pregnancy. I supposed to do Pap Smear when the babies reached 6 months but its still pending. Need to get advice from Dr G too about this.

Oh yeah, during the 1st month vaccination for the babies, the Klinik Kesihatan nursed said that i need to do family planning and she gave me appointments for that which i never do. Infertile doesn't need family planning anyway!

Can't hide it anymore...!

First of all, i would like to apologize to all my TTC friends here for hiding something big all this while. I've been waiting for a right time to reveal it and i guess finally the time has come.

Pic source: Google

As some of you who already can guessed it, yes, we are having twins. It was my childhood dream to have twin kids and Alhamdullillah after all the struggles, Allah made it possible for us.

Here's the chronology of it

While im in my 2ww after the IUI, i kept on talking to the babies (since i had 4 good follicles) and really hoping for twins although i dont even know whether my IUI will be a success or not. I even created a ticker before i test the UPT.

I had my first ultrasound during 6 weeks when i had a terrible morning sickness. Doctor scanned and said that there is 2 sac and one with heartbeat and another without heartbeat.

The only thing that i can think of after the ultrasound was, i always wanted twins, its OK, at least i can see the both sacs together in the ultrasound and at least 1 has heartbeat and i was praying for the one that has heartbeat. 

When i was in 8 weeks into pregnancy (6th September), i had some spotting/bleeding. So went to HKL and after a long procedure and scan, the doctor said they can see 2 sacs too and 1 still doesnt have heartbeat. So the bleeding is because the one that doesnt have heartbeat is about to vanish (vanishing twins) and i should expect the bleeding to continue for few days. - Again i console myself and praying for the one that survived! 

On the very next day, we had our appointment at LPPKN. Mr hubs asked me whether there is chance for both babies doing ok and i just replied i dont think so since the HKL doc said the one is on the way to vanish. 

We told Dr G everything that happened and he just listened. Mr hubs was waiting outside when the ultrasound took place. To my surprise, Doc G confirms that there is 2 babies and both babies has heartbeat and both are active. I've started to cry and both my knees were shaking. Nurse asked mr hubs to come and when the doc showed him both babies and he smiles to his ears. His face is still in my mind, he was just so happy. Its really a miracle moment for both of us.

So, we knew we are having twins during our 2nd month. We decided to hide it from everyone including family members. Till now, only my parents, sister and some close friends knew that we are expecting twins. 

Actually we've wanted to wait till the babies are born to reveal this secret to TTC friends, but since the complications for twin babies is high, we need your prayers. I've reached the 7th month and its consider that the babies can be out anytime. The risk is higher.

We hope, everyone that reads this entry will pray for the safety of the both babies and the mother (me). Again, i am sorry for hiding it too long.

Miracles Do Happen! 

Allah Answers your prayers in 3 ways.

He says yes and gives it to you.
He says no and gives you better.
He says wait and gives you the best.

Final Payment for Claims

Alhamdullillah, i've received the final claim payment for my primary infertility treatment today. I've received a total of RM6183.3 from Malaysian Government. Just paid the outstanding credit card which i've been using just for treatment at LPPKN. Settle satu hutang... lega~

Those out there who are working with Malaysian Goverment, you can claim your treatment fees if :-

•  The treatment is done at any Government Hospital or LPPKN
• Never pregnant before 
• Full payment for IUI
• Payment for medicine if you have to go through IVF. The IVF procedure itself its not covered by the government. 

More details at JPA website : Peraturan Permohonan Perbelanjaan Kemudahan Perubatan.
You have to pay first and claim later, please be remember that it will takes months to approve :)

On different note, most of insurance company doesnt cover infertility. Infertility treatment its really costly. Last time i heard about EPF wants to allow to take the Account 2 for infertility treatment but then im not sure whether its already been implemented or not. Those who have the savings in hand, doesnt mind about the cost.. but i do pity those who cant afford. Hopefully someone will look into this issue real soon.

Segalanya bermula dengan IUI

 

MENCERITAKAN tentang bagaimana pasangan itu boleh mendapat anak kembar empat, suami kepada Dr. Jasmina Qamaruz Zaman, Dr. Hazli Zakaria berkata, ia bermula dengan mereka mendapatkan khidmat perubatan reproduktif di Lembaga Penduduk dan Pembangunan Keluarga Negara (LPPKN) yang terletak di Jalan Raja Laut, Kuala Lumpur. "Kami berusaha untuk mendapatkan anak kedua selepas mendapat anak pertama, Eimann Arrazi, pada 2004 sewaktu isteri saya sedang belajar di United Kingdom. "Kami memilih untuk menjalani kaedah persenyawaan dalam rahim (IUI). Kali pertama percubaan kaedah tersebut gagal dan doktor telah memaklumkan kami boleh mendapat anak kembar.

"Setelah percubaan pertama gagal, kami mencuba sekali lagi  dan Alhamdulillah selepas tiga minggu kandungan, menerusi pengesanan ultrasound doktor mengesahkan isteri saya mengandung kembar empat." katanya. Dr. Hazli yang merupakan pakar psikiatri di Pusat Perubatan Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (PPUKM) begitu bersedia dengan kehadiran empat kembar yang pasti menggamatkan suasana rumah tangga mereka berdua." "Memang jenuh jugalah apabila keempat-empat menangis serentak. Namun kami telah bersedia untuk keadaan ini." "Malah kami juga mendapatkan khidmat dua orang pembantu untuk membantu menjaga anak kembar kami." ujurnya. Tidak mahu meletakkan harapan terlalu tinggi ketika proses mengandung, Dr. Hazli dan Dr. Jasmina, hanya membelikan barangan bayi selepas kelahiran anak-anak bertuah itu. Sumber : Utusan Malaysia Online

PS - They did treatment with Dr G, LPPKN

Updates

First of all, i am sorry for the lack of updates lately and i have few reasons for it.

1. I've mentioned before that im not going to blog here on pregnancy because i feel that it is not right to write on the different journey in this particular journey of mine. The journey which has changed my life forever.
2. I was not feeling good since mid Ramadhan and i was unable to fast fully. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (terrible morning sickness) which i was on drips for days and i've lost 5kg so far. I had urine infection too and I was on MC for about 1 month.
3. I am also also allergic to PC or laptop. I am also allergic to handphone. I cant talk on handphone more then 3 minutes or else i will be end up vomiting.

Currently the morning sickness seems to be ok and i am back to work. But i am still unable to drink water, any sort of water and i am forcing my self to take soya milk atleast.

The bleeding that i had before has stopped after 5 days. Doctor still classified mine as risky pregnancy which needed extra care.

Thats the little updates on me. As for the baby, baby is growing well as per 8th weeks scan and the next scan will be on week 13. Im on week 10 now.

Im still following up with LPPKN and Doctor G  might refer to hospital on next checkup. Still thinking on which hospital to go either HKL or Hospital Angkatan Tentera Tuanku Mizan.

I've created another blog but its still empty due to the above reason. Should i continue update on the baby progress here once in while?

Does miracles happen?

I dont want to drag much.

Yes, i test it at home first and it came out double line in less than 2 minutes. I just cant believe my eyes and my whole body was shivering. Alhamdullillah... finally after 4 and 1/2 years, my first BFP ever. Doctor confirm it again today. Millions thanks to all my TTC friends who keep me strong along thing journey and say my name in your prayers. I pray for you guys too. Hugs ppl!

PS - Those who know me personally, please keep this as secret for time being since its too early to spread the news. Im just 5 weeks and me and DH is very scared. Its not an easy journey to get this BFP. For now, we decided only to inform both our parents, thats all... not even the siblings yet.

PS again - I am sorry if this update  hurt my dear ttc friends in any way. I've been there for years and do understand it. Its nothing wrong to feel the way you are feeling right now. InsyaAllah your time will come soon.

IUI #2

 

My last injection for this cycle, Pregnyl taken on Wednesday night.

IUI #2 went on smoothly. We are a bit late to clinic but happen to be just a perfect timing. I recite Nabi Yunus doa while waiting for the procedure and Alhamdullilah, this IUI was less painful then the first one. Everything was done in less than 5 minutes.

(Ultrasound report as on 20th July 2011)

What i like about IUI? Of course the MC :)

Back home and took bed rest for the rest of the day. I had a bad cramping and stomach pain when im home. I believe its ovulation pain. Had that before when i had 8 good follicles last time. Although the scan shows only 4 mature follicles, there are another 2 possible follicle (16x13 and 11x16) which might already grew in the past 2 days and was released together with the 4 more follicles. This means, i had a total of 6 follicles this cycle.

I had a small strain after the IUI too… but only once and no more.

Back to normal today (1dpiui) and feeling good. No more cramping and stomach pain although the stomach is bloated.

Officially in 2ww again.

Cycle Updates

On my previous post, i said i might be having my menses this week. Last Friday, went for appointment to check the growth of my follicles and I did asked the doctor is it possible for me to get my period this week and he said, from the ultrasound, it doesn't seem like I'll be having menses anytime soon.

On CD9, i had 2 big follicles at 20mm and 19mm each. Others at around 14-15mm which will be continue grow if continue with the gonal-f. But since i request for time intercourse, doctor said 2 is more than enough (he actually don't prefer time intercourse for me since tried so many times before and it always fail and he keep saying better go for IUI).

Had my HCG shot (Pregnyl) on Saturday morning. The ‘mega project’ start 36 hours from the Pregnyl injection.

All done and now in 2ww. If it doesn't work out this cycle, its ok, i still can try again :)

I'm taking duphaston now for 16 days together with folic acid and black seed (habattussauda).

On separate note:

DH: Hey, i thought women will be having only 1 ovum per cycle?’

Me: Yes and that's for ‘normal women’. When I'm with the help of hormones medicine, it will stimulate the ovary to produce more ovum's.

After a while…

DH: So, that means you will be having your menopause very early since almost every month you are producing more than 1 egg. It will finish early then.

Me: (Silent-Speechless)

 

When the world says "Give Up" Hope whispers "Try it one more time."

Tired

I had spotting last Thursday on CD22. I called the clinic and asked can i consider it as period or not because its still early and my cycle usually 28-31 days. Nurse just put me on appointment on the following day and the doctor asked me to consider it as period and sent me home with lots of Gonal-f injection.

 

My instinct says that its not period. Recently my period gone mad. It doesn't follow the typical rule anymore. It will start, then stop after few days then will be getting spotting for another few days and stop again and then followed by the actual menses. This is why i happen to missed the appointment to meet doctor after my failed IUI. 

I’ve started my clomid on Saturday and injection the following day. But the spotting last for 4 days and then it stops.  No normal flow at all and my period never end in 4 days before.. Doctor said the IUI #2 will be on 27 June. I told him that I'm not going to do IUI this cycle since I will be away next week and i wont be able to undergo lab treatment. I want to go for time intercourse and he agreed. 

Again, my instinct says, next Monday I'll be having my ‘actual’ period! 

On different note, I've been having gastric and diarrhea for 5 days now since the spotting started. DH checking with me whether I'm ok regularly during the night. Yesterday on MC and today back to work.

I am so tired!

Doc will be on leave

Yesterday i tried to call LPPKN again and this time, its the different nurse. She talked nicely and said that the doctor will be on leave 6-8 June. So it would be difficult for the ultrasound session without the doctor around. That's the real reason why they are not accepting any patient.

This reason was acceptable to me. Well, i know that the doctor didn't took any leave for this year yet. Its very difficult for him to take leave coz it involve lots of patients. In one of my appointment, we did talked about the holidays and he mention that he don't take holidays much. Even he will be working on Saturdays for outstation referring patients.

He’s a normal human being. He has his own family and its a school holidays. So he deserved to have his own family time. Wonder why the 1st nurse was very rude? Why don't she just explained that the doc will be on leave? She needs a PR course i think!

What? Rest?

I jinxed it by telling that AF going to arrive using my Myth. AF doesnt show up as expected and just arrived this morning. Called LPPKN for the appointment and when i said my AF is today, she simply said that, please take rest this month. I said, doctor already asked me to rest last month, what for i should wait more? They only accept for this who got their AF before 23rd May for this month. All the others need to wait next month coz they are bz with the IVF patients. Then i only have July before fasting month!! WTH!!

Klinik Nur Sejahtera KK

When me and DH holidaying at Sabah last month, we stayed at the Promenade Service Apartment. When we was walking from the city tour to our apartment, i saw this.

Im not sure what is the actual function of this clinic at KK. I only knows that its a clinic under LPPKN and i just took the picture of it :)

Little Updates

My friend agreed to inject me last Wednesday although she was so nervous. Went for an ultrasound today and it seems that i do have some good follicles… 3 good follies (17mm, 16mm, 18mm) and few others ranging 14-15mm.

So, i was given another round of Gonal-f (my new injectables for this cycle) 150iu this morning and i am scheduled for an IUI coming Monday. Need to take the Pregnyl trigger tomorrow night. Im very the worried and this gonna be my first IUI.

 

 

On another note, today (8th April) marks a year I'm under LPPKN treatment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Procedures for the IUI…

Hope everything will be fine. I am so scared!

Yeay!

Finally im back on medicated cycle. The LPPKN lab is now open. So, will be able to proceed with IUI this cycle if everything goes as expected.

Doctor prescribe me with different injectables to avoid stimulate too many eggs as what had happen with puregon. Will be away next week and thinking to ask my colleague to inject me…if they’re not confident, need to inject myself. DH is the one who did the injecting task all this while.

Feeling nice to be back on medicated cycle… every little effort is count when ur TTCing right? We’ll wait n see how this cycle going to perform.

CD 2

Its CD 2 today and called LPPKN for an appointment. The nurse said the lab is still not ready and its better for me to proceed next cycle. The last medicated cycle was back in November. Obstacles came in so many ways… even in getting treatment? How to take it positively in this situation? Allah asking me to wait?

It’s here!

Yeay coz finally AF arrived yesterday. But Boo coz just called RE and seems that i still wont able to do IUI for this cycle because the lab is not ready yet. I have a choice now, either to try it naturally like last time or wait for another cycle.

I'm pretty sure i cant commit much on my next cycle since I've been having quite a number of training where I'll be away from home. I cant be idle doing nothing for another 2 months. So, I'm going to take all the drug’s again with whatever side effect it will be and doing it naturally. Here comes my another cycle of regular visits to RE, injections and ultrasounds.

But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for. — Paulo Coelho

Bloated

Remember me saying having stomach pain after the Pregnyl injection? It still continues until today… 7 days after. 2 days back, i called up the clinic and asked why im still having the pain even the ovulation its over and the nurse said, it shouldn't be the result of Pregnyl. It must be something else. But I'm not satisfied with the answer. Inform DH and we went to other clinic and the result was it must be the Pregnyl and the doctor don't want to give any medicine and to disturb the hormone.

So yesterday morning we went back to LPPKN, without an appointment beforehand. My stomach already grown big like 4 months pregnant by this time. DH much worried too. Need to wait till 1pm to meet the doctor even we already at the clinic by 9am. The doctor explained that yes, its the side effect from the medicine and its because having too much of mature follicle. My body never had matured follicle before. So doctor just asked me to take panadol and gave an day off.

Today the pain was ok but the stomach is still big and bloated. Hope it will be back to normal again.

When we are coming back from the clinic, DH was asking where we will be doing the aqiqah for the baby? at our house or at you mom’s place? I was like??? We don't even know we are successful this time or not how can u think about aqiqah? He was quite for a while then he start saying that he will be naming the kids later. Hmm, its clearly shows that DH is eagerly waiting to be a dad too even he hardly express his feelings. Sorry DH, cant give you child the past years and as for now :(

Dear my unborn child,

Im doing all this and facing all the pain because of you. I really hope one day you will be in my hand and playing with me and give me a wonderful smile.

Its stopped

Yesterday went for the scan early morning. The mensus was still heavy and im not that comfortable to scan when im having period. But i have to choice. This time, doctor can see lots of good eggs (follicles) and the size of each was taken down. Doctor also mention that i was having abdominal pain coz of having lots of eggs this time. At least the Puregon is now working with me.
Still im still having period, doctor asked to come again for ultrasound today and provide me with another Puregon to inject that night.

I took the day off yesterday since im not comfortable with my period yet and also with the pain. I seriously did a right choice, the flow was still heavy and there are few blood clots discharged too. For a moment i thought is it miscarriage? Started to google about miscarriage and the symptoms was similar. But the thing is im not pregnant in the first place. So i kept aside that thought.

Today, the mensus fully stop for my surprise. It never happen like this before it just stop fully when the previous day it was heavy. But its my 11th day, so its ok lah it stops. The doctor was surprised too how yesterday was so heavy and today nothing at all. Todays scan shows matured eggs and again its quite many. The biggest size was 21mm, thus so far i never been beyond 16mm.

So doctor stopped giving me puregon and prescribe with other medicine called Pregnyl to be inject tomorrow morning and to have the timely intercourse according to the date given. This drug is to makes the eggs burst. I also given Duphaston tablet again to start from coming Sunday till 16 days twice daily. Im not sure this will work out for me or not but im just hoping for the best and if anyone reading this... please doa for me ok.