Path

The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark. —  Barbara Hall

What a fertile woman doesn't know

 

What a fertile woman doesn't know is . . .

the pain an infertile woman feels when she wakes up in the morning to an empty uterus, empty arms, and an empty heart.

why we keep the doors to our spare bedrooms shut - because we can't bear the thought that one of those rooms should be a nursery by now.

that we would die to experience her morning sickness or her swollen feet, just to know what it's like to have a baby growing inside of us.

how badly we want to have sleepless nights with a colic-y baby, more so than we want to go out drinking with our girlfriends.

that we go grocery shopping early in the morning, just to avoid running into her pregnant belly or her adorable toddler.

that while she is jealous of our latest vacation, we envy her messy house, her unwashed hair, and her stained T-shirt.

how difficult it is to sit through a baby shower when all we can think about is, "Will I ever experience one of these?"

the tortured feeling of not being able to give our parents grandchildren or make our husbands fathers.

why we dread going to family functions, change the channel when we see holiday commercials, and avoid the baby aisle at Target like the plague.

what it feels like to be trapped in a room and be the only woman in that room who has not experienced motherhood.

what it feels like to be trapped in a world where the only thing that makes a "real woman" is the ability to birth a child.

the pain an infertile woman feels when she lays her head on her pillow at night, and all she can think about is her empty uterus, empty arms, and empty heart.

Taken : From IF to when

Speechless

Was so bored and was looking at fb application and tried this particular application on “the best day of your life” and the result was

“ When you’ll have baby!”

I was just trying that application and seriously doesn't expect this as an answer…. and i started to cry

December 2010

My calendar for this month… I was supposed to do the pregnancy test yesterday if my period doesn't come… but I'm on cycle day 14 yesterday and still spotting till today. I was only free for 11 days for this month so far.

I'm using calendar from Taking Charge Of Your Fertility website… although I'm not temping but its easier to use the calendar….

Bitter Truth

Our minds speak lies. They tell us what we want to see, what we most desire.Our hearts, however, speaks nothing but Sometimes Bitter Truth

The Claim Issue

Since I'm working with Government of Malaysia, I’m entitle to claim the treatment fee’s for this primary infertility if I'm having treatment with government clinic/hospitals. LPPKN is government clinic under Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development.

I was just allowed to claimed last week and i received the letter from the doctor to submit all the documents to my department.

I submitted everything last week. Last Friday, my boss was asked me about the claim saying why im only claim now for the whole year. It seems like he dont understand when i explain to him that i was actually waiting for the letter from the doctor.

Last week, i received the forms which was already signed by the big boss and today i received this letter and they give me back the forms which the signed page by the big boss was gone and they printed new form for that particular page before returning it to me.

Can you see the office politic here? Even im entitle for the claim they rejected me. Im pretty sure they will reject it next yr too saying that those bills are for the yr 2010 and cant pay for it.

Weakness?

Crying isn't showing your weakness. Its shows that you've been strong for too long...