Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Rambling

Last Sunday when me and DH went to movie, we had plenty of time before the movie starts. So had our dinner and start talking few things about this TTC. In early days of treatment, we use to go together to clinic but since his actual presence is only needed on the IUI day, I'll go alone.

Let him know that Monday morning i need to go to LPPKN. He kind of not interested. He said he’s lazy with this TTC thing. Try and try and no success. During the IUI #1, his SA count was 40 million. If we take 40 million as a minimum count, if BD was done for 3 time during the ovulation it will be 120 million. Yet, none of those met the little egg. Its frustrating. I don't know how to console him.

Deep down in my heart, i want to go for IVF straight without IUI anymore. But, doctor at LPPKN doesn't allow IVF with just 1 IUI. Though i am so scared about IVF. How if its fails too? I’ve been reading a fair share of success and failed IVF stories. It hurts, although it is other person’s story. At the same time, really hoping for the IUI #2 to success. Prayers needed my dear friends.

(Pic source: Indah Khairani)

I find myself hopeful one day and depressed and beat down the next. Help me ya Allah! Sometimes i wonder if i was never made to conceive. This thought will always come and go regularly since in this 4.5 yrs, we failed to produced any single baby, not even miscarriage/ectopic/molar and what so ever. No... im not praying to have miscarriage/ectopic/molar its just the thought of not able to "make babies" that haunt me.

10 their rebelling minds:

XaRiNe M said...

doa byk2...

sweet tooth said...

Lady Mira,
Insya-Allah, jangan berputus harap... Allah has the Best Knowledge & plan for us. Keep trying. Kita doa sama-sama.

Nana Aris said...

same thinking here babe..sometimes i get jealous of my friend as they have miscarriage coz i think at least she conceived..haha sick mind isn't it..

takpelah, usaha n doa lagi ye =)

Mamanurin said...

mama rasa sedih bila baca entry mira ni..don't lose hope. insyallah, satu masa, satu ketika pasti kita berjaya, andai bukan didunia ini, pasti ada yang lebih baik di akhirat nanti..

moving to IVF, kena kuatkan semangat sebab klu success mmg suker sgt tapi klui failed, mmg teruk sangat!! mama dah lalui 3 kali IVF..

Ayien Azreen said...

ye la mira... jgn putus asa kay... i pun selalu g hospital sorang je sbb lagi senang...
i tak pernah buat IUI sbb i terus buat IVF... but... :'(
deep down in my heart... i rasa macam xkan dikurniakan baby... kadang2 stress gile... lagi la next month dah puasa n bermakna raya makin dekat... rasa malas nak g beraya ke mana pun... tahu dah soalan2 basi yg akan keluar...

Anonymous said...

pernah tgk 1 rancangan ni on tv, mengenai sedare mare n rakan taulan yg suka bertanyakan pasal isu anak ni, jwpn yg lebih afdal yg diberikan pada dierang yg suke bertanye ni..."Doakan lah saya". for me, the answer is short, simple and so meaningful...and been practicing it till now.
Ada 1 of my close uncle, he is quite old, pernah tanya..."Awat hg ni lama sgt nak ada anak, cpt2 sikit..nanti org kata hang MAndu*"... mmg sgt tersentak. tapi oleh krn uncle tu tua, i just answered, my nephews n nieces pun anak i jugak...:)...haih..mcm2...

Lady Mira said...

Xarine - yeah

sweet tooth - Yup.. Allah has the best knowledge.

Nana - kan... atleast im not alone :)

mamanurin - thanks mama.. mama buat ivf 3 kali? ada tak mama update psl ivf story mama kt blog mama?

ayien - jom sama2 berusaha

anonymous - mmg slalu jwb cam tu pun if org tanya... or else kadang2 tak jawab apa pun... dah malas

Mrs.ShiZni said...

Stay strong... Stay strong... Stay strong Mira!

mahujadiibu said...

be strong mira...saya tahu anda mmg kuat.lepas saya dah gugur hrtu rsa mcm nak cepat2 je try conceived semula.saya doakan insyaALLAH ye Mira..amin

Lady Mira said...

Mrs Shizni - thanks dear :)

mahujadiibu - thank you darling. Semoga julie dikurniakan semula zuriat secepat yg mungkin. Amin.