Can't hide it anymore...!

First of all, i would like to apologize to all my TTC friends here for hiding something big all this while. I've been waiting for a right time to reveal it and i guess finally the time has come.

Pic source: Google

As some of you who already can guessed it, yes, we are having twins. It was my childhood dream to have twin kids and Alhamdullillah after all the struggles, Allah made it possible for us.

Here's the chronology of it

While im in my 2ww after the IUI, i kept on talking to the babies (since i had 4 good follicles) and really hoping for twins although i dont even know whether my IUI will be a success or not. I even created a ticker before i test the UPT.

I had my first ultrasound during 6 weeks when i had a terrible morning sickness. Doctor scanned and said that there is 2 sac and one with heartbeat and another without heartbeat.

The only thing that i can think of after the ultrasound was, i always wanted twins, its OK, at least i can see the both sacs together in the ultrasound and at least 1 has heartbeat and i was praying for the one that has heartbeat. 

When i was in 8 weeks into pregnancy (6th September), i had some spotting/bleeding. So went to HKL and after a long procedure and scan, the doctor said they can see 2 sacs too and 1 still doesnt have heartbeat. So the bleeding is because the one that doesnt have heartbeat is about to vanish (vanishing twins) and i should expect the bleeding to continue for few days. - Again i console myself and praying for the one that survived! 

On the very next day, we had our appointment at LPPKN. Mr hubs asked me whether there is chance for both babies doing ok and i just replied i dont think so since the HKL doc said the one is on the way to vanish. 

We told Dr G everything that happened and he just listened. Mr hubs was waiting outside when the ultrasound took place. To my surprise, Doc G confirms that there is 2 babies and both babies has heartbeat and both are active. I've started to cry and both my knees were shaking. Nurse asked mr hubs to come and when the doc showed him both babies and he smiles to his ears. His face is still in my mind, he was just so happy. Its really a miracle moment for both of us.

So, we knew we are having twins during our 2nd month. We decided to hide it from everyone including family members. Till now, only my parents, sister and some close friends knew that we are expecting twins. 

Actually we've wanted to wait till the babies are born to reveal this secret to TTC friends, but since the complications for twin babies is high, we need your prayers. I've reached the 7th month and its consider that the babies can be out anytime. The risk is higher.

We hope, everyone that reads this entry will pray for the safety of the both babies and the mother (me). Again, i am sorry for hiding it too long.

Miracles Do Happen! 

Allah Answers your prayers in 3 ways.

He says yes and gives it to you.
He says no and gives you better.
He says wait and gives you the best.

Final Payment for Claims

Alhamdullillah, i've received the final claim payment for my primary infertility treatment today. I've received a total of RM6183.3 from Malaysian Government. Just paid the outstanding credit card which i've been using just for treatment at LPPKN. Settle satu hutang... lega~

Those out there who are working with Malaysian Goverment, you can claim your treatment fees if :-

•  The treatment is done at any Government Hospital or LPPKN
• Never pregnant before 
• Full payment for IUI
• Payment for medicine if you have to go through IVF. The IVF procedure itself its not covered by the government. 

More details at JPA website : Peraturan Permohonan Perbelanjaan Kemudahan Perubatan.
You have to pay first and claim later, please be remember that it will takes months to approve :)

On different note, most of insurance company doesnt cover infertility. Infertility treatment its really costly. Last time i heard about EPF wants to allow to take the Account 2 for infertility treatment but then im not sure whether its already been implemented or not. Those who have the savings in hand, doesnt mind about the cost.. but i do pity those who cant afford. Hopefully someone will look into this issue real soon.

Segalanya bermula dengan IUI

 

MENCERITAKAN tentang bagaimana pasangan itu boleh mendapat anak kembar empat, suami kepada Dr. Jasmina Qamaruz Zaman, Dr. Hazli Zakaria berkata, ia bermula dengan mereka mendapatkan khidmat perubatan reproduktif di Lembaga Penduduk dan Pembangunan Keluarga Negara (LPPKN) yang terletak di Jalan Raja Laut, Kuala Lumpur. "Kami berusaha untuk mendapatkan anak kedua selepas mendapat anak pertama, Eimann Arrazi, pada 2004 sewaktu isteri saya sedang belajar di United Kingdom. "Kami memilih untuk menjalani kaedah persenyawaan dalam rahim (IUI). Kali pertama percubaan kaedah tersebut gagal dan doktor telah memaklumkan kami boleh mendapat anak kembar.

"Setelah percubaan pertama gagal, kami mencuba sekali lagi  dan Alhamdulillah selepas tiga minggu kandungan, menerusi pengesanan ultrasound doktor mengesahkan isteri saya mengandung kembar empat." katanya. Dr. Hazli yang merupakan pakar psikiatri di Pusat Perubatan Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (PPUKM) begitu bersedia dengan kehadiran empat kembar yang pasti menggamatkan suasana rumah tangga mereka berdua." "Memang jenuh jugalah apabila keempat-empat menangis serentak. Namun kami telah bersedia untuk keadaan ini." "Malah kami juga mendapatkan khidmat dua orang pembantu untuk membantu menjaga anak kembar kami." ujurnya. Tidak mahu meletakkan harapan terlalu tinggi ketika proses mengandung, Dr. Hazli dan Dr. Jasmina, hanya membelikan barangan bayi selepas kelahiran anak-anak bertuah itu. Sumber : Utusan Malaysia Online

PS - They did treatment with Dr G, LPPKN

IUI #1 vs IUI #2

Just want to share few things that happen/ I did during the first IUI and the 2nd.

1st IUI

2nd IUI

Very nervous 3 good follicles Went to loo just before the IUI procedure DH's SA count 40 million The IUI procedure was quite painful when the speculum was inserted After the IUI, went to loo again Went back home with motorbike Took rest for the rest of the day No intercourse after the IUI BFN  Had my menses on 11dpiui

Started to take Evening Primerose Oil, Habatussauda and Goats Milk 4 good follicles Mentally prepared since its the 2nd IUI DH's SA count 40 million I was reciting the Doa Zakaria and Doa Yunus for the entire time i was in the lab The IUI was less painful - i guess the Doa Yunus played the role Didnt went to loo for 2 1/2 hours after the IUI Went back home with cab Took rest for the rest of the day Had intercourse the next day of IUI to increase the chances  No period up to 16dpiui BFP

I'm not sure which one has helped but thats what i can conclude on the differences on both IUI's.

Does miracles happen?

I dont want to drag much.

Yes, i test it at home first and it came out double line in less than 2 minutes. I just cant believe my eyes and my whole body was shivering. Alhamdullillah... finally after 4 and 1/2 years, my first BFP ever. Doctor confirm it again today. Millions thanks to all my TTC friends who keep me strong along thing journey and say my name in your prayers. I pray for you guys too. Hugs ppl!

PS - Those who know me personally, please keep this as secret for time being since its too early to spread the news. Im just 5 weeks and me and DH is very scared. Its not an easy journey to get this BFP. For now, we decided only to inform both our parents, thats all... not even the siblings yet.

PS again - I am sorry if this update  hurt my dear ttc friends in any way. I've been there for years and do understand it. Its nothing wrong to feel the way you are feeling right now. InsyaAllah your time will come soon.

CD 34

No sign of AF yet.

It seems like the waiting game never ends. Its there anything called 3 weeks wait?

Now waiting for doctor's appointment next Monday (15th August 2011) to know the result of my IUI #2.

On the other hand, Alhamdullillah and thanks to PM for giving 1/2 month bonus for all government civil servants. Something is always better than nothing.

13dpiui

I still have 2 and 1/2 days to finish my Duphaston. According to doctor, once finished the Duphaston, period should come within 1 week if not pregnant. I believe that is why the next appointment with the doctor for the upt is on 15th of August = 1 week after period is due.

Although i thought i want to test the UPT tomorrow on 14dpiui - 2 weeks after iui, now i think i might want to wait little longer.

IUI #2

 

My last injection for this cycle, Pregnyl taken on Wednesday night.

IUI #2 went on smoothly. We are a bit late to clinic but happen to be just a perfect timing. I recite Nabi Yunus doa while waiting for the procedure and Alhamdullilah, this IUI was less painful then the first one. Everything was done in less than 5 minutes.

(Ultrasound report as on 20th July 2011)

What i like about IUI? Of course the MC :)

Back home and took bed rest for the rest of the day. I had a bad cramping and stomach pain when im home. I believe its ovulation pain. Had that before when i had 8 good follicles last time. Although the scan shows only 4 mature follicles, there are another 2 possible follicle (16x13 and 11x16) which might already grew in the past 2 days and was released together with the 4 more follicles. This means, i had a total of 6 follicles this cycle.

I had a small strain after the IUI too… but only once and no more.

Back to normal today (1dpiui) and feeling good. No more cramping and stomach pain although the stomach is bloated.

Officially in 2ww again.

CD 14

Updates as of today (20/7/2011):

ET : 14mm (doctor said very good)
Left Ovary: out of 4 follicles, 2 follicles are good ( 17x14 and 21x14)
Right Ovary: Out of 5 follicles, 2 good follicles as well (21x15, 19x8)

Will be taking Pregnyl injection tonight (to release the eggs from the ovary)
IUI will be on 22nd July.

(Pic Source: google)

So much of effort, hope and prayers are been put for this cycle. We’ll see how it goes.
Positive or negative, I'll leave it to the Allah :)

CD13

My appointment was yesterday. As for CD12, i just had 1 follicle that are mature enough. So, doctor asked to go for another round of gonal-f. When i was about to get my medicine, u know what, gonal-f is out of stock!! The nurse says this year they have lots of patients and there is no more stock. Need to come again after 4pm.

My next appointment will be on Wednesday and if everything is according to the plan, the IUI #2 will be on coming Friday. Hope the holy Friday brings me luck for the long awaited little miracle.

Rambling

Last Sunday when me and DH went to movie, we had plenty of time before the movie starts. So had our dinner and start talking few things about this TTC. In early days of treatment, we use to go together to clinic but since his actual presence is only needed on the IUI day, I'll go alone.

Let him know that Monday morning i need to go to LPPKN. He kind of not interested. He said he’s lazy with this TTC thing. Try and try and no success. During the IUI #1, his SA count was 40 million. If we take 40 million as a minimum count, if BD was done for 3 time during the ovulation it will be 120 million. Yet, none of those met the little egg. Its frustrating. I don't know how to console him.

Deep down in my heart, i want to go for IVF straight without IUI anymore. But, doctor at LPPKN doesn't allow IVF with just 1 IUI. Though i am so scared about IVF. How if its fails too? I’ve been reading a fair share of success and failed IVF stories. It hurts, although it is other person’s story. At the same time, really hoping for the IUI #2 to success. Prayers needed my dear friends.

(Pic source: Indah Khairani)

I find myself hopeful one day and depressed and beat down the next. Help me ya Allah! Sometimes i wonder if i was never made to conceive. This thought will always come and go regularly since in this 4.5 yrs, we failed to produced any single baby, not even miscarriage/ectopic/molar and what so ever. No... im not praying to have miscarriage/ectopic/molar its just the thought of not able to "make babies" that haunt me.

Shopping

What did i shop today? What else if not my infertility drugs? IUI #2 on the way…

It cost me RM639.10 today. Next appointment will be on next Monday.

P/S – Dr G not taking any Muslim patient who got their menses start from 16th July 2011 due to the fasting month.

Tired

I had spotting last Thursday on CD22. I called the clinic and asked can i consider it as period or not because its still early and my cycle usually 28-31 days. Nurse just put me on appointment on the following day and the doctor asked me to consider it as period and sent me home with lots of Gonal-f injection.

 

My instinct says that its not period. Recently my period gone mad. It doesn't follow the typical rule anymore. It will start, then stop after few days then will be getting spotting for another few days and stop again and then followed by the actual menses. This is why i happen to missed the appointment to meet doctor after my failed IUI. 

I’ve started my clomid on Saturday and injection the following day. But the spotting last for 4 days and then it stops.  No normal flow at all and my period never end in 4 days before.. Doctor said the IUI #2 will be on 27 June. I told him that I'm not going to do IUI this cycle since I will be away next week and i wont be able to undergo lab treatment. I want to go for time intercourse and he agreed. 

Again, my instinct says, next Monday I'll be having my ‘actual’ period! 

On different note, I've been having gastric and diarrhea for 5 days now since the spotting started. DH checking with me whether I'm ok regularly during the night. Yesterday on MC and today back to work.

I am so tired!

2ww – Part 1

1 week from the 2 weeks wait was gone so fast! Been very the busy at office last week and then I'm out for holiday for 5d4n and just back few hours back. After thinking high and low whether to proceed with the holiday plan after the IUI, we just proceed since previously we been sacrificed lots of things  and when nothing happen, i was down so much. So this time, no major sacrifice was done. It only takes less than a second if Allah says ‘Kun Fayakun’. In case, im out for this cycle, at least i still had fun on my holidays. Maybe will update a bit about my trip on next entry, InsyaAllah :)

Its done

Finally the IUI was done this morning. I’ve been worried since Friday. DH was so cool and keep diverting my mind. We even went to movie last night. 

The follicles count as of 8th April 2011. So each might grown 2mm by this morning. 

DH was need to do his SA. Once he’s done, we paid RM350 and went to have our breakfast. Later, we went to 7th floor until name was called. DH was not allowed to company, so he waited outside. As usual, need to lying down at the bed and wait for the turn. 

Then came the doctor, check the name on SA tube. Then, the SPECULUM was inserted, it was painful. Seriously i cant bear the pain. Later, the SA was inserted. Feeling normal by this time and after few minutes the SPECULUM was taken out. Its not painful as much as it was when inserted. Some said it was just discomfort like pap smear… but i personally think its more like the HSG. 

So, the doctor asked to lay down around 30-40 minutes then we are done. Got the MC for today and the nurse did asked to ‘mandi wajib’. 

I dont know whether to hope or not but im leaving it to God. He knows what is best for me. So I'm officially in 2WW now.

IUI

What is IUI?
IUI stands for intrauterine insemination and involves depositing sperm into a woman’s uterus in the hopes of facilitating conception. It is one of four methods that fall under the umbrella term of artificial insemination. Other artificial insemination methods include intracervical insemination, intratubal insemination and intrafollicular insemination. Of the four techniques, IUI is by far the most often used.

How is IUI done?
IUI is a relatively simple procedure that takes little time to perform. During IUI, a catheter is passed through the cervix, into the uterus. Contained within the catheter are sperm, which are injected into the uterus. The whole procedure may take only a few minutes.

When and where are sperm collected?
Sperm can be collected either at home, if you live close to your fertility clinic, or at the doctor’s office. The man will be provided with a sterile collection cup, where he can deposit his ejaculate. If you plan on using a fresh sample, then this sample needs to be delivered to your fertility doctor within a half hour of ejaculation. In some cases, a special type of condom may also be used for sperm collection.

Does sperm need to be prepared before IUI?
Yes, sperm washing must occur before IUI can happen. This process can take anywhere from 30 minutes with simple sperm wash to two hours with the swim up technique. Insemination should occur shortly after the sperm has been prepared.

(Source: Google) 

Should IUI be done before or after I ovulate?
In general, it is usually recommended to do IUI just before ovulation is set to take place. Six hours is often the time frame given as washed sperm doesn’t live much beyond six to 12 hours. However, if your infertility problems are caused by male factor, insemination is more likely to take place within six hours after ovulation.

If you have not been using any fertility drugs during your cycle, then detecting ovulation will depend upon detecting the LH surge. Cycles using a single IUI are normally done 24 to 36 hours after the surge is detected while those having two IUIs done will be inseminated between 12 and 48 hours after the surge. If you have been using fertility drugs, like Clomid, to produce multiple egg follicles and are having a single IUI done, then insemination will take place 24 to 36 hours after you receive an hCG injection. Women having two IUIs done in the same cycle will be inseminated 24 to 48 hours after receiving the hCG injection with 12 hours between each IUI.

Is a certain sperm count necessary for IUI?
Although the minimum sperm count necessary to have an IUI performed is one million, it is normally recommended that a sperm count of at least 5 million be used. However, the less sperm that is used, the lower the chances of success. Therefore, a sperm count between 20 and 30 million is usually thought of as ideal.

Is IUI painful?
Although it can cause some discomfort, mainly when the catheter is passed through the cervix, overall IUI is a relatively painless procedure. Some women have likened it to a pap smear in terms of discomfort.

Will I be successful with IUI the first time?
Like IVF, a few cycles of IUI may be necessary before you are successful. Many fertility doctors recommend doing two inseminations at a time in order to increase your chances of pregnancy. Using different fertility drugs also may help. However, if you fail to have any results after trying a few cycles with both Clomid and injectable fertility drugs, you may want to consider trying IVF.

How successful is IUI?
Natural IUIs, meaning that no fertility drugs were used, tend to have lower success rates, dipping down to about 6% in some cases. However, IUIs done with fertility drugs that produce multiple eggs have success rates of up to 30% associated with them. Additionally, sperm count greatly affects the outcome with IUI. Using sperm samples with a smaller count often cause a couple to have less success. Overall, though, a success rate of 15% to 20% is associated with IUI.

How soon after IUI can I take a pregnancy test?
It is a good idea to wait at least a week, if not two, before taking a pregnancy test. Implantation can take anywhere from six to 12 days after ovulation to occur. Therefore it is best to wait two weeks after the procedure before testing (if you can).

Are there any risks associated with IUI?
IUI is one of the least stressful fertility treatments on a woman’s body, especially if she is not taking any fertility drugs. It also has very few associated risks, although cramping, bleeding or spotting may occur during or after the procedure. There is also a risk of infection, including STDs, particularly if the sperm you are using has not been properly screened and/or you are not very familiar with the health background of the sperm provider.

Women using fertility drugs do have a few more risks to worry about, which are particular to the medications they are receiving. However, with proper and regular monitoring, these risks should be minimized.

Is there anything I should do or avoid after IUI?

• Feel free to get up and move about after IUI as your cervix will close, keeping the newly deposited sperm right where it should be. However, many women prefer to continue lying down immediately after the procedure, which your doctor will likely encourage as well.
• While it won’t hurt you to take it easy for a few days, there really is no reason why you can’t resume your regular activities right away.
• Have sex. This will only help to increase your chances of conceiving, after all. However, if you experienced any bleeding during your IUI procedure, you may want to wait 48 hours before having sex.
• Wondering whether or not you can swim? While it hasn’t been shown to interfere with IUI, there’s nothing wrong with being prudent in your actions and waiting a couple of days to swim. If you are using suppository medications, though, you may want to ask your fertility doctor whether swimming will interfere with these medications.

(Source: SharedJourney)

P/S - IUI is Permissible in Islam.

Little Updates

My friend agreed to inject me last Wednesday although she was so nervous. Went for an ultrasound today and it seems that i do have some good follicles… 3 good follies (17mm, 16mm, 18mm) and few others ranging 14-15mm.

So, i was given another round of Gonal-f (my new injectables for this cycle) 150iu this morning and i am scheduled for an IUI coming Monday. Need to take the Pregnyl trigger tomorrow night. Im very the worried and this gonna be my first IUI.

 

 

On another note, today (8th April) marks a year I'm under LPPKN treatment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Procedures for the IUI…

Hope everything will be fine. I am so scared!