Sunday, July 31, 2011

Ramadhan Mubarak…

Alhamdullillah… the holy month is back.


Lets make use of it to the fullest.

Saturday, July 30, 2011


I’ve been reading the story of ‘Nafastari’ and ‘Mawar’ for quite some time. But i dont know what caused nafastari’s death. I just googled ‘Nafastari’ and got the answer for me my question, by accident with horse. He is my age, father of 2. His wife is just 26. Too young for this test but Allah knows what is the best for his servants.

Just heard a news of a relative of mine, her husband has azoospermia = zero sperm. The couple are still young too and they may try IVF or the only choice is adoption. I'm not sure what and where they want to start the treatment. After all, there’re not in KL.

Been thinking of both of them regularly and my heart really goes for them. May Allah give all the strength in this world for them to continue this life as a normal person.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Surviving the Two Week Wait

14 Things to Do when 14 Days Seem Like Forever, by Lynn Steen

Please note that this is a humourous article and is not intended as advice.

As any woman who is trying to get pregnant can tell you, the two weeks from ovulation to the due date for your next period are pure torture. You promise yourself you’ll just wait it out, distract yourself with other activities and you won’t even THINK about taking a pregnancy test until you’re at least a day overdue. Then something happens – your breasts start hurting in a slightly different way than they did before, you get slightly nauseous, you have some spotting, or nothing happens, but you find yourself waking up wishing you could go to sleep again so that it would be another day closer to knowing. You can’t think, you can’t sleep, you can’t work, and you start taking HPT’s days before they are even possibly meaningful. You are deep in the abyss of THE TWO-WEEK-WAIT!

In my opinion, it’s no use advising women to stop obsessing, it’s impossible. Instead, I give you a list of more productive ways to obsess. Please note, however, that there is a limit that each woman must define for herself, between indulging in some baby daydreaming and going overboard. I’ve included some examples below:

1. Take a walk around your neighborhood and figure out what will be the best route for strolls with the baby. Find areas with nice pavements and easy curbs. Go ahead and daydream. But do NOT buy a stroller for the dog.

2. Clean out your wardrobe to make room for the maternity stuff you’ll be buying soon. Try on anything you haven’t worn for six months. Yes, if you wish, you may put a pillow in your undies to see what will work as maternity wear. But taking a picture of yourself like that is going too far.

3. Start a journal. Write down everything you’re feeling. It will be a great opening chapter for your child’s baby book. If you can’t put your feelings into words, draw something; try to create a symbol that expresses the frustration you’re feeling. Don’t get that symbol tattooed on your ankle.

4. Plant a hope garden. Or a hope rosebush. Or a hope citrus tree. You want to grow something inside of you, well start by growing something outside of you. Nurture it. Feed it. Give it water. Talk to it. But do not send out birth announcements.

5. Get better at photography. Really learn how to work all the buttons and settings on your camera. Experiment! If you have a digital camera, get all the downloading and editing stuff worked out. You will be well prepared once you have a baby, and will be able to get some great shots and get them emailed to your family before the child’s graduation. Do not take photos of your cervical mucous, even if Toni Weschler begs you.

6. Make an appeal to the committee meeting going on inside you. Sperm, egg, uterus, corpus luteum, progesterone – they are in there either making a baby or not. Treat them like any other unruly committee you’ve ever addressed. Yes that’s right, go ahead and talk to them. Put your hands on your stomach and tell them how much you respect them. Make your best argument in favor of a baby, and then let them decide. It’s out of your hands. Addressing the committee within earshot of normal people is not recommended.

7. Paint your toenails. Imagine how difficult this will be when you are pregnant. Go shopping for the perfect pink and blue nail polish in preparation for a celebration polish. Alternating colors on the day you find out you’re pregnant, or a single color for the day you find out the baby’s sex. Don’t be tempted to paint a cycle day countdown on your big toes.

8. Make a cup of herbal tea. It is a nice ritual: boiling the water, adding the tea leaves, pouring into a nice china cup, adding some milk or sugar, sipping peacefully. Ahhhh. There’s nothing that a nice cup of tea won’t help. Yeah right. Well it does kill a little bit of time.

9. Swim laps. Think about the sperm and how they need to swim to your egg. Imagine that you are a sperm, the end of the pool is the egg, then GO, GO, GO! Don’t wear a tail or anything. Just imagine it quietly.

10. Make lists. List all the people you will tell when you get pregnant, and in what order. List all the little jobs you need to get done instead of obsessing about this 2WW! List all the healthy activities you intend to do this week. List all the girl and boy names you like. Lists are helpful for all sorts of things, most of all for passing time rather than actually doing something.

11. Create a fertility dance. Choose whatever music speaks to your soul and make up a dance routine as a prayer to the universe for the growth of an embryo. Move your hips, rotate your belly, let your arms flow – but close the curtains.

12. Prepare a folic acid feast. Cream of broccoli soup as an entree, followed by spinach lasagne, enriched whole grain garlic bread and frozen orange juice sorbet for dessert. Dedicate the meal to your baby-to-be. Just don’t set a highchair at the table in his or her honor.

13. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family. On their assigned day they are required to think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant or not. At the end of the day they have to call or send you email describing how agonizing it was. Also they have to report to you if they had any “symptoms,” such as sore breasts, excessive urination, nausea, bleeding, fatigue… you will be surprised how many people, male and female, have early pregnancy symptoms if they just look for them.

14. Write a list of 14 things to do during the Two-Week Wait and post it to the internet. For me, this killed nearly 3 hours. Now what? I’ve still got 9 days to go? Aaaarrgrhhhh.

(Source: BellyBelly)

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Awareness: Chemical Pregnancy


What Is A Chemical Pregnancy?

A chemical pregnancy is the clinical term used for a very early miscarriage. In many cases, the positive pregnancy test was achieved before the woman's period was due but a miscarrige occured before a heartbeat was able to be seen on an ultrasound.

With the ultra sensitive pregnancy tests on the market today, it is easier than ever to get a positive result 3 or 4 days before your period is due. It is wonderful for those who NEED to know, but does have it's down side. Early testing shows chemical pregnancies which would not have been detected had the woman waited for her period to arrive.

Chemical pregnancies are unfortunately very common. 50 to 60% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage very early in pregnancy. Most occur without the woman even knowing that she was pregnant.

What Causes a Chemical Pregnancy

Most chemical pregnancies are due to chromosomal problems in the developing fetus. Other possible causes are inadequate uterine lining, uterine abnormalities both congenital or acquired like fibroids, low hormone levels, luteal phase defect or certain infections.

How can I Prevent Chemical Pregnancies

Most chemical pregnancies can not be prevented. If you have recurring chemical pregnancies, your doctor should be able to investigate and help you formulate a treatment which is best for you. Potential treatments include vitamin B6 (at least 50mg a day), progesterone cream, and baby asprin. Be sure to discuss potential treatments with your doctor.

If infection is the cause, antibiotics prescribed by your Doctor can help.

(Source from BabyHopes)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Tomorrow insyaAllah will be my last day of fasting... its been so hard this year to fast in between period and regular clinic visits. I missed 15 days of fasting last Ramadhan... hope this year i will get all 30 days, Amin :)

Friday we will have 'makan-makan' session at office welcoming Ramadhan next week. I'm so excited.

Sunday, July 24, 2011


The most i have friends from outside Malaysia would be less than 5 countries but i had visitors from 45 countries to my blog.


One common thing from all this people that came here is ‘Infertility’. Well, we are not alone. It is an international problem. Lets hold our hands together, be strong and try harder each cycle and reach our dream sooner or later.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

IUI #2


My last injection for this cycle, Pregnyl taken on Wednesday night.

IUI #2 went on smoothly. We are a bit late to clinic but happen to be just a perfect timing. I recite Nabi Yunus doa while waiting for the procedure and Alhamdullilah, this IUI was less painful then the first one. Everything was done in less than 5 minutes.


(Ultrasound report as on 20th July 2011)

What i like about IUI? Of course the MC :)

Back home and took bed rest for the rest of the day. I had a bad cramping and stomach pain when im home. I believe its ovulation pain. Had that before when i had 8 good follicles last time. Although the scan shows only 4 mature follicles, there are another 2 possible follicle (16x13 and 11x16) which might already grew in the past 2 days and was released together with the 4 more follicles. This means, i had a total of 6 follicles this cycle.

I had a small strain after the IUI too… but only once and no more.

Back to normal today (1dpiui) and feeling good. No more cramping and stomach pain although the stomach is bloated.

Officially in 2ww again.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

CD 14

Updates as of today (20/7/2011):

ET : 14mm (doctor said very good)
Left Ovary: out of 4 follicles, 2 follicles are good ( 17x14 and 21x14)
Right Ovary: Out of 5 follicles, 2 good follicles as well (21x15, 19x8)

Will be taking Pregnyl injection tonight (to release the eggs from the ovary)
IUI will be on 22nd July.

(Pic Source: google)

So much of effort, hope and prayers are been put for this cycle. We’ll see how it goes.
Positive or negative, I'll leave it to the Allah :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Infertility: Islamic Perspective – 4. Ultrasound scan does not nullify fasting

Fatawa Issuing Body : Islam Web
Author/Scholar : Dr. Abdullah Al-faqih
Date Of Issue : 21 Shawwal 1424

Question:What is the Fatwa if a woman examined by a doctor/ultrasound scan as treatment for her infertility from her vagina during the day of Ramadan? Does she need to make up for that day?

Answer:Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. Inserting something in vagina for the purpose of a medical examination does not affect the fast as decided in the tenth session of the Council Of Islamic Fiqh, held in Jeddah in 1997 AD. The resolution contains many matters that do not affect the fasting. According to that resolution the following matters do not break fast: "Anything inserted into the vagina, such as pessaries, douches, scopes or fingers for the purpose of a medical examination. Insertion of a scope or intra-uterine device (IUD or "coil") and the like into the uterus. Insertion into the urethra - for males or females - of a catheter, opaque dye for diagnostic imaging, medication or solutions for cleansing the bladder". Therefore, this woman does not need to make up for the day in which she received the mentioned examination, unless there are some other reasons for that. However, we inform that it is better to undertake such examination after breaking the fast. As a general rule, a woman is not allowed to receive treatment from a male doctor except if there is no female doctor and she is in dire need for that treatment.
Allah knows best.

(Taken from : USIM Fatwa Management System)

With regards to vaginal examinations, Mufti Ebrahim Desai states: “If no medication has been inserted into the vagina, the fast will not be broken. If any gel or other substance was inserted into the vagina, the fast will break. Ultrasound scanning does not invalidate the fast.” With regards to injections, the Mufti states: “It is permissible to take an injection during fasting. The injection does not nullify the fast. (Ahsanul Fataawa vol.4 pg.432).”

My conclusion on this topic is although the transvaginal ultrasound itself will not broke the fast, for the ultrasound procedure, normally the doctor will put some gel such as KY Jelly to ease the scanning process. According to Mufti Ebrahim Desai, it is not allowed although the gel was used just as lubricant.


My appointment was yesterday. As for CD12, i just had 1 follicle that are mature enough. So, doctor asked to go for another round of gonal-f. When i was about to get my medicine, u know what, gonal-f is out of stock!! The nurse says this year they have lots of patients and there is no more stock. Need to come again after 4pm.

My next appointment will be on Wednesday and if everything is according to the plan, the IUI #2 will be on coming Friday. Hope the holy Friday brings me luck for the long awaited little miracle.

Sunday, July 17, 2011


It looks like more and more TTC friends are getting pregnant. Alhamdullillah and congrats to Ummi, Tinie, Mummy Tiesya and Cikcokelat. It creates more hope to the others to have that little faith ‘My time will come soon’.

Apart from that, the fertile ones don't want to be left out. Yesterday, i received 2 sms about the giving birth and this morning another one which i don't even knew they were pregnant. The only thing that was in my mind was, ‘Oh, its that season again’.


Thursday, July 14, 2011

Additional Effort

Apart from my daily intake of folic acid, im taking:


Habatussauda (Black Seed) – 7 seeds daily in the morning


First time tried the goat milk and for me who doesn't drink milk, i can take it without any prob. Definitely i blend it with 7 dates and drinking it daily.


Blackmores Evening Primrose Oil, bought it few months back and unable to take it because the pill is so big! But, instead of just wasting it, i tried it and continuing with it.


I still have some ‘buah zuriat’ given by my friend. Still struggling to peel it… :(



No harm trying right?

Worlds Oddest Mother

Yesterday while surfing on Oprah's website, bump into news related to Octomom, Nadya Suleman. Read about her long time ago and i read about her again last night. Then i surf more about here and i found one forum which provide 'Worlds Oddest Mother'.

Let me warn you, i am not responsible for the roller coaster emotions that you are going to have after go through this entry.

Mother of Most Surviving Children From a Single Birth (8 babies)

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Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez, known as Octomom in the media, is an American woman who came to international attention when she gave birth to octuplets in January 2009. The Suleman octuplets are only the second full set of octuplets to be born alive in the United States and, one week after their birth, surpassed the previous worldwide survival rate for a complete set of octuplets set by the Chukwu octuplets in 1998. The circumstances of their high order multiple birth have led to controversy in the field of assisted reproductive technology as well as an investigation by the Medical Board of California of the fertility specialist involved. Public reaction turned negative when it was discovered that the single mother already had other six young children at home at the time and was not financially independent. Suleman, who was unemployed and on public assistance programs at the time, conceived the octuplets and her six older children via in-vitro fertilization.

World's Youngest Mother (5 years old)

Into the hospital at Pisco (Peru) came a tired, ragged Indian woman from the foothills of the Andes. She led by the hand a shy little girl, scarcely three feet tall, with chestnut braids and an enormously bulging abdomen. Pointing to the frightened child, the Indian woman begged surgeon Geraldo Lozada to exorcise the evil spirits which had taken possession of her. Certain that little Lina Medina had an abdominal tumor, Dr. Lozada examined her and received the surprise of his life when he discovered she was eight months pregnant

World's Oldest First Time Mother (70 years old)

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Meet Rajo Devi Lohan, the Indian woman who, in November 2008, gave birth to her first child - at the age of 70. She said she had waited for more than 40 years for this child and that she plans to breastfeed her for at least three years. And, who knows, maybe she will.

The Mother With the Most Births (69 kids)

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Feodor Vassilyev (1707-1782), was a peasant from Shuya, Russia. Though not noteworthy himself, his first wife, Valentina Vassilyeva, set the record for most children birthed by a single woman. She gave birth to total of 69 children; however, few other details are known of her life, such as her date of birth or death. She gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets between 1725 and 1765, in a total of 27 births. 67 of the 69 children born survived infancy.

World's First Male Mother

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Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman but lives as a man in Oregon after surgery and hormone treatment, was the first man to become a mother. Beatie, 34, who is legally a man but kept female reproductive organs when he had a sex-change operation 10 years ago, made headlines around the world and was dubbed the "pregnant man" before giving birth to a baby girl on June 29. After giving birth he did not go back on the male hormone testosterone that he took after his sex change, because he wanted to have another baby. Beatie's wife, Nancy, 46, whom he married five years ago, was unable to conceive because of a prior hysterectomy. That is why he had a baby himself, through artificial insemination using donor sperm and Beatie's own egg.

World's Oldest Mother of Twins (70 years old)

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She was utterly determined to have a son. The fact that to do so would make 70-year-old Omkari Panwar the world's oldest mother didn't even cross her mind. Her resolve was matched by her husband Charan Singh Panwar, 77. To pay for the IVF treatment vital to producing a male heir to the family's smallholdings, the retired farmer sold his buffalos, mortgaged his land, spent his life savings and took out a credit card loan. And it all paid off when Mrs Panwar gave birth to twins - a boy and girl - by emergency aaesarean section in a hospital in Muzaffarnagar, seven hours drive north ofthe Indian capital New Delhi.

World's Most Prolific Surrogate Mother (12 babies)

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Surrogate mother Carole Horlock, 42, has delivered 12 babies in 13 years - including triplets, setting the world record for the most prolific surrogate mother. She told the ABC News program "20/20." : "When I first started being a surrogate I expected to do it once," she said. "I hadn't looked past that. But I enjoyed it so much. Before I actually had given birth to the baby I wanted to do it again." Surrogates receive an average $25,000 to $30,000 for their services, "20/20" said. The downsides include in-vitro fertilization, morning sickness, bed rest, Caesarean sections and stretch marks.

Horlock will make no demands on the parents of the triplets beyond requesting an annual letter and photograph to let her know how they are doing. But her surrogacy experiences have not all been positive. Her father rarely speaks to her, distressed that she is effectively giving away his grandchildren.

World's Smallest Mother (2ft 4in)

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The world's smallest mother is about to give birth for the third time - despite warnings she is risking her life.

Stacey Herald, who is just 2ft 4in tall, was told that becoming pregnant could kill her, but bravely defied doctors to have two babies half her height. The 35-year-old from Dry Ridge, Kentucky in the U.S. suffers from Osteogenesis Imperfecta, which causes brittle bones and underdeveloped lungs, and means she failed to grow. Mrs Herald, who uses a wheelchair, and her husband Will, who is 5ft 9in, are eagerly awaiting the birth of their third baby, due in the next four weeks.

Mother of the World's Tinniest Baby

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Mahajabeen Sheikh gave birth to Rumaisa Rahman on September 19 2004 at Loyola University Medical Center. The baby weighed just 8.6 oz and was only 10 inches long and replaced Madeline Mann, born in 1989, as the world's smallest baby. At 1.3 ounces smaller than Madeline Mann, Rumaisa Rahman weighed less than a can of beer. She was born just 25 weeks and six days into her mother's pregnancy.

Mother With the Longest Interval Between Kids (41 years)

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Elizabeth Ann Buttle had two kids, Belinda and Joseph, which is nothing special in itself. Belinda Buttle was born on May 19, 1956 when Elizabeth Ann Buttle was 19. The amazing part is the interval between the birth of Belinda and Joseph, it is the longest interval between births ever.

Joseph Buttle was born on November 20, 1997 when Elizabeth Ann Buttle was 60, an interval of 41 years 185 days. If you're familiar with the song 'I am my own grandpa!', well, Joseph's sister was old enough to be his own grandma!

Mom with no legs and one arm

Melek, 24, becomes a mother of nine-months-old Semih. Despite of having no legs and only one arm, she still successfully had baby thanks to caesarean section.

Melek and Mehmet are enjoying their endless happiness with their son Semih.

(Source: Globaltimes)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Last Sunday when me and DH went to movie, we had plenty of time before the movie starts. So had our dinner and start talking few things about this TTC. In early days of treatment, we use to go together to clinic but since his actual presence is only needed on the IUI day, I'll go alone.

Let him know that Monday morning i need to go to LPPKN. He kind of not interested. He said he’s lazy with this TTC thing. Try and try and no success. During the IUI #1, his SA count was 40 million. If we take 40 million as a minimum count, if BD was done for 3 time during the ovulation it will be 120 million. Yet, none of those met the little egg. Its frustrating. I don't know how to console him.

Deep down in my heart, i want to go for IVF straight without IUI anymore. But, doctor at LPPKN doesn't allow IVF with just 1 IUI. Though i am so scared about IVF. How if its fails too? I’ve been reading a fair share of success and failed IVF stories. It hurts, although it is other person’s story. At the same time, really hoping for the IUI #2 to success. Prayers needed my dear friends.

(Pic source: Indah Khairani)

I find myself hopeful one day and depressed and beat down the next. Help me ya Allah! Sometimes i wonder if i was never made to conceive. This thought will always come and go regularly since in this 4.5 yrs, we failed to produced any single baby, not even miscarriage/ectopic/molar and what so ever. No... im not praying to have miscarriage/ectopic/molar its just the thought of not able to "make babies" that haunt me.

Monday, July 11, 2011


What did i shop today? What else if not my infertility drugs? IUI #2 on the way…


It cost me RM639.10 today. Next appointment will be on next Monday.

P/S – Dr G not taking any Muslim patient who got their menses start from 16th July 2011 due to the fasting month.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Cry if you need to

PMS spoiled the whole day of yesterday. Pity DH.


Thursday, July 7, 2011


As expected, back to CD1 again this morning.

Hi AF,

Seems that you really miss me each and every month and you cant live without visiting me. By the way, I love you too!


Cycle days became shorter this 2 months… from 31 days to 21 days.

There is still rooms to go for IUI #2 before the fasting month starts next month.

My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet. - Mahatma Gandhi

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

CD21 @ 10dpo

I'm 10 days past ovulation. Started to had the pimples since few days back and having period like cramping. I guess ‘it’ didn't worked out this time either. Counting days for CD1 again which will knock the door anytime soon.
You always do a little growing up every time you do a little letting go. - Oprah Winfrey

Sunday, July 3, 2011

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less travelled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

- Author unknown

Friday, July 1, 2011

Cycle Updates

On my previous post, i said i might be having my menses this week. Last Friday, went for appointment to check the growth of my follicles and I did asked the doctor is it possible for me to get my period this week and he said, from the ultrasound, it doesn't seem like I'll be having menses anytime soon.

On CD9, i had 2 big follicles at 20mm and 19mm each. Others at around 14-15mm which will be continue grow if continue with the gonal-f. But since i request for time intercourse, doctor said 2 is more than enough (he actually don't prefer time intercourse for me since tried so many times before and it always fail and he keep saying better go for IUI).

Had my HCG shot (Pregnyl) on Saturday morning. The ‘mega project’ start 36 hours from the Pregnyl injection.

All done and now in 2ww. If it doesn't work out this cycle, its ok, i still can try again :)

I'm taking duphaston now for 16 days together with folic acid and black seed (habattussauda).

On separate note:

DH: Hey, i thought women will be having only 1 ovum per cycle?’

Me: Yes and that's for ‘normal women’. When I'm with the help of hormones medicine, it will stimulate the ovary to produce more ovum's.

After a while…

DH: So, that means you will be having your menopause very early since almost every month you are producing more than 1 egg. It will finish early then.

Me: (Silent-Speechless)


When the world says "Give Up" Hope whispers "Try it one more time."