Thursday, April 28, 2011

Short Break

Went to RE today morning, and the doctor said i am too late for the treatment for this cycle. So it might be a waste if we continue with treatment since the outcome is already known.

Its my mistake to not called on last Friday when AF just arrived. I forgot to call for an appointment on Monday due to my work and only manage to call on Tuesday and got the appointment on Thursday (today) CD 7.

So, I'm on break this cycle. So only continue with the folic acid.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

This Woman Has a Secret

It's infertility, which will strike one in eight American couples. Why are so many of us hiding this struggle from our friends and family?

SELF investigates the roots of women's silence— and why our reluctance to talk keeps us from getting the health care we deserve.

By Jennifer Wolff Perrine

Lisa scans the room for an empty seat. Save for the disembodied voices of unseen nurses summoning patients into exam rooms, the place is excruciatingly quiet. The clouds outside the floor-to-ceiling windows cast a pallor onto the walls, the furniture and the faces of some 40 women waiting at the Perelman Cohen Center for Reproductive Medicine at NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York City. Everyone is here for the same reason: She can't get pregnant without a doctor's help. Yet with so much in common, no one speaks or even acknowledges one another. The women sit at least one empty chair apart, reading the newspaper, tapping on their BlackBerries, staring at their shoes. The few who are accompanied by husbands—they don't talk, either.

"You can cut the tension with a knife," says Lisa, a 33-year-old health-policy analyst who is here for her fourth cycle of in vitro fertilization (IVF). Lisa finds a love seat with room for her and her oversize red leather purse and plops down into it. It's 8 A.M., but already she's exhausted. And she's scared, hoping for joy but preparing for heartbreak. It's a feeling she's grown accustomed to in more than two years of trying to have a baby with her husband, Jack. Her big brown eyes are on the verge of tears. "I never imagined it would come to this," she says.

After three failed IVFs in their hometown of Washington, D.C., Lisa and Jack have taken a leave from their jobs, moved to New York for two weeks and are spending roughly $20,000 for another chance to conceive. No one close to the couple knows they're here—not Jack's family in the Midwest and not Lisa's parents, who live in an outlying suburb. They're paying $1,600 to sublet a studio apartment rather than tell family what they are doing. The only people who know are members of their support group back in Washington, strangers a few months ago and now the few people they feel can understand their struggle. They share this experience with SELF under an agreement to print only their middle names. "We have so much invested that we can't handle other people being emotionally invested," Lisa says. "We can't deal with other people being upset if it doesn't work when we are already so upset ourselves."

Doctors have diagnosed Lisa with "unexplained infertility," which accounts for approximately 20 percent of all infertility diagnoses. Even after her first IVF failed last year, she and Jack had remained optimistic their second try would give them a family. Lisa was still young, and both she and Jack appeared to be in perfect health. For Lisa, each procedure had a 60 percent chance of success, according to statistics from Shady Grove Fertility Center in Washington, D.C., where Lisa was being treated. She was at work when the nurse called with the news that barely any of her eggs had become fertilized. Lisa phoned Jack, and together but apart, they each closed their office door and sobbed. That night, they huddled together in their bed, lights off, ringing phone ignored. "We were in a very dark place," Jack remembers. They began avoiding friends, canceling plans and not making new ones.

(Source: Self)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

High educated women vs Infertility

I always thinks that there is some relationship between those two. Reason being, among my ttc friends itself, many of them atleast have degree or master. Yours truly has masters too and planning to do Phd in future.
Tried to do some research on it but didnt get much info yet. So, I’ve decided to ask you guys. Anyone with me? Vote for your voice at my sidebar… just for fun :)

Monday, April 25, 2011

2ww – Part 2

Today mark the end of 2ww (14dpiui), i should not test the upt until today at least. But the spotting then followed by AF visited me first.  A strong person knows how to keep their life in order, even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say “im ok” with a smile. Thank you for the encouring words dear friends… i am really ok :)

As i told you guys before, I'm surrounded with pregnant women's at office. Today, when i was sitting beside a friend of mine, she suddenly took my hand and put at her womb… to feel the baby kicking!  I was speechless for few minutes. It was my first time, I've never feel the baby kicking before even with my sister in law’s or my sister. MasyaAllah! It was amazing. Unforgettable! Thank you dear friend to let me feel it, really appreciate it although everyday, when i saw ur baby bump, i was envy to death.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Feeling Better

This morning when i woke up, i was unable to open up my eyes widely as usual… the after effect of crying last night, my eyes become swollen.


I strongly believe that DH doesn't know that i was crying the whole night. Went to sleep early around 8pm and just informed DH that i want to rest, but actually I was sulking… sulking with my own body and life. Pity him. He tried to calm me but i just ignored him.

However, feeling better now.

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.  - Walter Anderson

Friday, April 22, 2011

I Just

hate you!


Thursday, April 21, 2011

God’s Perfect Time


Just be patience my dear ttc buddies…


CD 23 and 10dpiui today. I’ve been having cramping and sharp pain in abdomen since 2dpiui and i just ignoring all the feelings since then. Last night was terrible. Once back from work, i cant even stand. Was in my couch till Maghrib and force my self to pray.

I'm also try to limit my self to Google everything although I'm always failed at it. Last time, i was spotting from 8dpo and i was strongly believed it was implantation bleeding but then it turns out to be AF few days later.

Now I'm feeling like AF is about to come… AF actually due end of next week. Well, the AF always playing trick nowadays.

AF… are you missing me already?

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.- Jim Rohn

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Little bit on my holiday! Went to KK, Sabah actually :) Been there before 2 years back but that time we are on mission (Mount Kinabalu climbing) but this time… just for relaxing. Spent more time at Kundasang instead of the KK town itself :)
79E78B44-FFD6-3F7B-90DB-1273EBBDA707wallpaper Some of the picture taken
Really had fun and enjoyed to maximum. Wish to go there again some other time, maybe with the baby *wink*  :)

Monday, April 18, 2011

2ww – Part 1

1 week from the 2 weeks wait was gone so fast! Been very the busy at office last week and then I'm out for holiday for 5d4n and just back few hours back. After thinking high and low whether to proceed with the holiday plan after the IUI, we just proceed since previously we been sacrificed lots of things  and when nothing happen, i was down so much. So this time, no major sacrifice was done. It only takes less than a second if Allah says ‘Kun Fayakun’. In case, im out for this cycle, at least i still had fun on my holidays. Maybe will update a bit about my trip on next entry, InsyaAllah :)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My first facebook note on infertility – Just Me

Infertility isn’t something many people really know much about or care to really discuss.  Which is really hysterical to me considering how OPEN people are about pregnancy and all that amazing excitement. But when someone informs a friend or family member that they have an issue that causes infertility or just fertility issues they always say the same damn thing, “Just stop trying and it’ll happen”. Alright friends and family. I have some very strong words to you out there when you say this me…fuck you. Yes. I know. A little mean, a little bitchy and a little not needed you may think but until you are in my place you can shove off.  I don’t want to hear those words ever again in my entire life to tell you the truth. How bout instead of that why don’t you just say, “Man that sucks.” Feel free to ask as many questions as you like but don’t act like it’s just that easy.  You don’t know. Hell, most people who have gone through infertility issues and came out on the other of it all typically seem to forget what it was ever like to be in this place.  It down right sucks. Some please don’t be offended when I make a sarcastic, jealous remark to your recent blow out diaper complaint or banter on how you wish your newborn would give you just 5 more minutes to sleep.  And I am sorry if I fight back tears when you remind how AMAZING it is to have a child in your life. It is nothing against you, it really is the anger I have towards my low grade fertility and out of whack hormones. – via xbabystepsx

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Treatment Cost

The total amount that i paid for this cycle was RM1253.80. So, so far I've spent RM4045.5 at LPPKN alone.


I'm not sure yet on the previous claim status. Now I'm going to submit the new one. Well, just use the facilities that available for government staff right? Hope it will be approved soon.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Its done

Finally the IUI was done this morning. I’ve been worried since Friday. DH was so cool and keep diverting my mind. We even went to movie last night. 

110420111512 The follicles count as of 8th April 2011. So each might grown 2mm by this morning. 

DH was need to do his SA. Once he’s done, we paid RM350 and went to have our breakfast. Later, we went to 7th floor until name was called. DH was not allowed to company, so he waited outside. As usual, need to lying down at the bed and wait for the turn. 

Then came the doctor, check the name on SA tube. Then, the SPECULUM was inserted, it was painful. Seriously i cant bear the pain. Later, the SA was inserted. Feeling normal by this time and after few minutes the SPECULUM was taken out. Its not painful as much as it was when inserted. Some said it was just discomfort like pap smear… but i personally think its more like the HSG. 

So, the doctor asked to lay down around 30-40 minutes then we are done. Got the MC for today and the nurse did asked to ‘mandi wajib’. 

I dont know whether to hope or not but im leaving it to God. He knows what is best for me. So I'm officially in 2WW now.


What is IUI?
IUI stands for intrauterine insemination and involves depositing sperm into a woman’s uterus in the hopes of facilitating conception. It is one of four methods that fall under the umbrella term of artificial insemination. Other artificial insemination methods include intracervical insemination, intratubal insemination and intrafollicular insemination. Of the four techniques, IUI is by far the most often used.

How is IUI done?
IUI is a relatively simple procedure that takes little time to perform. During IUI, a catheter is passed through the cervix, into the uterus. Contained within the catheter are sperm, which are injected into the uterus. The whole procedure may take only a few minutes.

When and where are sperm collected?
Sperm can be collected either at home, if you live close to your fertility clinic, or at the doctor’s office. The man will be provided with a sterile collection cup, where he can deposit his ejaculate. If you plan on using a fresh sample, then this sample needs to be delivered to your fertility doctor within a half hour of ejaculation. In some cases, a special type of condom may also be used for sperm collection.

Does sperm need to be prepared before IUI?
Yes, sperm washing must occur before IUI can happen. This process can take anywhere from 30 minutes with simple sperm wash to two hours with the swim up technique. Insemination should occur shortly after the sperm has been prepared.

IUI(Source: Google) 

Should IUI be done before or after I ovulate?
In general, it is usually recommended to do IUI just before ovulation is set to take place. Six hours is often the time frame given as washed sperm doesn’t live much beyond six to 12 hours. However, if your infertility problems are caused by male factor, insemination is more likely to take place within six hours after ovulation.

If you have not been using any fertility drugs during your cycle, then detecting ovulation will depend upon detecting the LH surge. Cycles using a single IUI are normally done 24 to 36 hours after the surge is detected while those having two IUIs done will be inseminated between 12 and 48 hours after the surge. If you have been using fertility drugs, like Clomid, to produce multiple egg follicles and are having a single IUI done, then insemination will take place 24 to 36 hours after you receive an hCG injection. Women having two IUIs done in the same cycle will be inseminated 24 to 48 hours after receiving the hCG injection with 12 hours between each IUI.

Is a certain sperm count necessary for IUI?
Although the minimum sperm count necessary to have an IUI performed is one million, it is normally recommended that a sperm count of at least 5 million be used. However, the less sperm that is used, the lower the chances of success. Therefore, a sperm count between 20 and 30 million is usually thought of as ideal.

Is IUI painful?
Although it can cause some discomfort, mainly when the catheter is passed through the cervix, overall IUI is a relatively painless procedure. Some women have likened it to a pap smear in terms of discomfort.

Will I be successful with IUI the first time?
Like IVF, a few cycles of IUI may be necessary before you are successful. Many fertility doctors recommend doing two inseminations at a time in order to increase your chances of pregnancy. Using different fertility drugs also may help. However, if you fail to have any results after trying a few cycles with both Clomid and injectable fertility drugs, you may want to consider trying IVF.

How successful is IUI?
Natural IUIs, meaning that no fertility drugs were used, tend to have lower success rates, dipping down to about 6% in some cases. However, IUIs done with fertility drugs that produce multiple eggs have success rates of up to 30% associated with them. Additionally, sperm count greatly affects the outcome with IUI. Using sperm samples with a smaller count often cause a couple to have less success. Overall, though, a success rate of 15% to 20% is associated with IUI.

How soon after IUI can I take a pregnancy test?
It is a good idea to wait at least a week, if not two, before taking a pregnancy test. Implantation can take anywhere from six to 12 days after ovulation to occur. Therefore it is best to wait two weeks after the procedure before testing (if you can).

Are there any risks associated with IUI?
IUI is one of the least stressful fertility treatments on a woman’s body, especially if she is not taking any fertility drugs. It also has very few associated risks, although cramping, bleeding or spotting may occur during or after the procedure. There is also a risk of infection, including STDs, particularly if the sperm you are using has not been properly screened and/or you are not very familiar with the health background of the sperm provider.

Women using fertility drugs do have a few more risks to worry about, which are particular to the medications they are receiving. However, with proper and regular monitoring, these risks should be minimized.

Is there anything I should do or avoid after IUI?

  • Feel free to get up and move about after IUI as your cervix will close, keeping the newly deposited sperm right where it should be. However, many women prefer to continue lying down immediately after the procedure, which your doctor will likely encourage as well.
  • While it won’t hurt you to take it easy for a few days, there really is no reason why you can’t resume your regular activities right away.
  • Have sex. This will only help to increase your chances of conceiving, after all. However, if you experienced any bleeding during your IUI procedure, you may want to wait 48 hours before having sex.
  • Wondering whether or not you can swim? While it hasn’t been shown to interfere with IUI, there’s nothing wrong with being prudent in your actions and waiting a couple of days to swim. If you are using suppository medications, though, you may want to ask your fertility doctor whether swimming will interfere with these medications.

(Source: SharedJourney)

P/S - IUI is Permissible in Islam.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

hCG Trigger

Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) trigger are used to stimulate the release of the egg during ovulation once get the expected mature follicle. Usually Pregnyl or Ovitdrel was used as a hCG trigger. Doctor prescribe me with the Pregnyl…(5000iu).

090420111510 090420111511

I had my Pregnyl last night 8pm (9/4/11). So i must be ovulate after 36 hours (8am 11/4/11) when the IUI (CD13) was scheduled.

I was not able to sleep last night. Mind was thinking about the IUI going to happen on Monday. Informed mom that there's some procedures going to happen on Monday and i didn't explain further to her to avoid her to worry much bout me. Need to tell her though; i need her prayers.

Ya Allah! Please give me strength to be strong as how U’ve given me till to-date.


يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا اصْبِرُوا وَصَابِرُوا وَرَابِطُوا وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

Believers, be steadfast, and vie in steadfastness, *141 stand firm in your faith, and hold Allah in fear that you may attain true success. – Surah Al Imran 200

Friday, April 8, 2011

Little Updates

My friend agreed to inject me last Wednesday although she was so nervous. Went for an ultrasound today and it seems that i do have some good follicles… 3 good follies (17mm, 16mm, 18mm) and few others ranging 14-15mm.

So, i was given another round of Gonal-f (my new injectables for this cycle) 150iu this morning and i am scheduled for an IUI coming Monday. Need to take the Pregnyl trigger tomorrow night. Im very the worried and this gonna be my first IUI.

020420111482  020420111483


On another note, today (8th April) marks a year I'm under LPPKN treatment.











Procedures for the IUI…


Hope everything will be fine. I am so scared!