Sunday, December 12, 2010

Unwanted Advice

One of the person that i know for couple of years now pregnant with baby no 3. Whats the big deal you may ask? Well, she is just like us who are TTCing for 6 yrs to get her first baby 2 yrs back. She again conceived another baby last yr and now currently pregnant again. As for me, Im seeing it as rezk of Allah for all the patience she has for the first 6 yrs of her married life and i congratulate her.
In reply, i received the most common question, the very sensitive question “u dah ada good news blm”? I just said, “still trying... quite depressing though... but its ok... ujian Allah :)”. After a while, I received another msg saying that:
never stop praying kan.. be near to HIM and ofcourse Allah nak kiter berusaha jugak...so you shld go and seek medical advise dear.. jgn dok tunggu for miracle to happen.. we shld usaha towards it kay..
i replied in short, yes im under treatment at LPPKN.
Again, she replied:
frankly speaking i went to LPPKN too after i finished all my savings at KL Fertility & Gynaecology Centre with Dr Shant.. and the treatment sucks.. mmglah murah but the medicie given so low dose and takder effect lgsg...

stressed me up, i went to klinik naidu and got good news, conceived .. trylah go there.. sentul medical centre..
and my reply was “tak per la kak. before this i went to one fertility kat pj... dah byk spent kat situ. baru start sini and i feel confident here. So far doing good here. Tak nak la asyik2 dok tukar.”
Maybe she want to be generous and want to suggest the clinic that she went. I understood. But, the thing is, im ok if she said that all this while before this. Or before i told her im with LPPKN. Why now? For ppl like us, sometimes the advice given when we dont ask for it is very sensitive. And being her having difficulties having kid 6yrs, i thought she would understand… but im wrong again. Ppl will forget eh?
If its worked out for her, doesnt mean it will be working for me! Lots of ppl suggesting so many places… im not in a situation to try all the places that suggested to me. Its torturing ok! TTCing its not easy! Infertility is the most difficult time of your life spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically and mentally. I dont expect ppl who didnt go through TTC to understand any of this, but then… its sad when those who did still dont understand.

4 their rebelling minds:

Ayien Azreen said...

yup... dalam bab ni... people out there berebut2 nak jadi advisor... suh buat itu buat ini, pegi situ pegi sini... makan itu makan ini... tahu la maybe they just want to help... but still so annoying... sometimes ade yg force u to ikut cakap dia... what the hal... huhu... akak menci tauuu...

Lady In The Mirror said...

kan...!

Arni said...

Hi! Sampai your blog thru LittleMama's.

I pun dah kawin 5 years baru preggy now. Itupun lps buat 2 kali IUI kat LPPKN, so I can totally relate to this.

Yg paling menyampah ialah bila org2 yg byk anak ni dok sibuk kasik nasihat kat kita, try this and that padahal at the same time kita tgh buat proper medical treatment (cuma malas la nak canang2kan kat org).

Pastu mulalah bukak cerita si polan tu mkn Biodex terus lekat baby etc.. Lain org lain la punca masalahnya kan?

Lady In The Mirror said...

Hi Sis Arni,
yup... betul tu.... sibuk jer nk bg nasihat tu dan ini... bukannya kita tak try apa pun... we are doing what ever we can... tp mahluk2 Allah ni.. suka jer bg nasihat tak tentu masa somehow it reminds us on the kekurangan diri...
anyway... thanks for dropping by :)